


Beware of Dog

by awillsgrahamcracker



Category: Hannibal (TV)
Genre: Comedy, Crack, Dogs, Language, Ratings: R, Sleep Walking, winston's PoV, wolf trap
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-07-09
Updated: 2013-07-09
Packaged: 2017-12-18 07:00:50
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,502
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/876959
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/awillsgrahamcracker/pseuds/awillsgrahamcracker
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Will’s sleep walking adventures told through Winston’s eyes</p>
            </blockquote>





	Beware of Dog

**Author's Note:**

> A request was made on Tumblr for the events of Hannibal to be told through Winston’s PoV. I really tried to write it. I really did but this happened. I am not even sorry.

Why did I decide to sleep outside? It’s cold out here. I could be curled up in one of the beds that everyone else is in. Everyone, ha. Why am I the only dog with a name? Well another name. My original family named me Carl and now I’m Winston. Oh the door is opening maybe he is letting me inside. Wait what is he doing? Why is he walking off the porch? I think I better follow him and see where he’s going. For the love of dogs he should really cover up his junk. Those shorts leave nothing to be desired. I can see everything. He gets mad at me when I show mine. I wonder if I bite it if that would get my point across. It might drag him out of his stupor at least. Speaking of biting he gets mad at me when I chew and lick at mine. That mother fucker knows if he could do it he would. Hell that would keep his ass in his room then I wouldn’t be following him all over the place. Oh great the highway, maybe we will be kidnapping another dog. This is where he kidnapped me. I was wearing a damn leash. What does he think all dogs come conveniently prepared with leashes? I wonder how long little Jimmy called Carl before the little bastard realized I wasn’t coming back. I guess Pa's house is the place all the other dogs talk about. The place where you go and never come back. Wolf Trap my ass. They should call it Dog Trap. Let me try biting at his ankles and see if that does anything. Nope he’s just walking. Where the hell are we going? If he were another dog walking around like that he would get held down and raped. I am not saying I condone rape but he is walking around with his junk in your face. Yes I know what you’re thinking. Dogs are already unclothed but you can’t see our stuff. You don’t see us walking on two legs swinging it around for the world to see. Pa here pretty much is. My feet are hurting on this road. Oh I see lights, damn they’re bright. Oh well look at that. Little Willy is coming out of it. Well I say little but it’s not. Did I just say my Pa had a big Willy? I’m going to hell. If dogs go to hell. I will just go over here and wait.

Now that we are back….you’re not getting in the bed like that are you? Yep you are. I’m a dog and even I know that’s dirty. Not like I can do anything about it. I’m just a dog after all. I’ll just curl up at the foot of the bed and try to put this behind us. I wonder if Jimmy replaced me already. Maybe we can kidnap that dog too and save him years of misery.

I need a drink…oh for dog’s sake where the hell is he now? I can’t even sleep without this crazy ass slipping off. I will check the porch first. I hope he was too out of it to remember to lock it when we came in. Oh good he was but why is everyone upstairs? He never goes upstairs. For crying out loud shut up. It sounds like the damn pound in here. What’s out the window? Move everyone. You know you should really get names. It’s really confusing when I want to talk to one of you and you all come. I mean you would think you would know your own name but you all honestly believe your name is everyone. I’m beginning to think Pa picks up handicapped dogs to make himself feel better. That’s a horrible thought but they all think their names are everyone. That’s not too bright now is it? Maybe he wanted me to be the leader of the crazies. That’s why I got a name but that’s not what I signed up for. Technically speaking I didn’t sign up for anything. Pa just lured me in with food and snatched me up.

“Move” Another everyone

THIS CRAZY MOTHER FUCKER is standing on the roof. I really am the leader of the crazies. He doesn’t pick them up to make himself feel better he picks them up because he's one of them. How am I going to get him off the roof? Maybe I should just leave him there. No that doesn’t sound very safe. Let’s see if everyone can help. Oh sure lay there and lick your balls that’s really helpful. Thanks a lot, guys. Oh and you’re chasing your tail. That always solves a lot of problems, especially how to look like a moron. I have nothing to work with here and I mean nothing. Oh boy the white everyone is coming over.

“Yes?”

He’s just staring at me, licking his lips.

“Can I help you?”

Now he’s sniffing his butt. That’s really classy. If anything he is supposed to sniff mine. NO! NO! NO! Oh damn it why did I have to say something? Now everyone in here is sniffing my butt. 

“Oh my dogs do you really have to lift me off the ground?”

“Are we done here now, jebus.” 

"Oh look the little guy is coming back.

Stop looking at me like that, dude. What gives?”

“Hannibal”

"Yeaaahhh that was the nice guy that gave us that unbelievably good sausage.”

“Hannibal”

“Okay you can go away now. You’re starting to freak me out.”

“Hannibal gave him to Daddy.”

Oh someone else is talking. Now we are getting somewhere. “He can be a little weird at times. He stares at all of us like that.”

“What’s your name?”

“Everyone”

“Oh for crying out loud. I am all alone here. Just go back to chasing your tail. I’ll figure something out.”

I guess I will go back over here and stick my head back out the window. He’s still standing in the same spot. Is he looking at something or is he stuck like that? I am coming to the realization that my Pa is a mad man. 

“Pa, Pa” Maybe that wasn’t loud enough. “PA!”

I guess he wants to be left out there. He is always walking around half dressed. He better be glad we live in the middle of nowhere. He might make a bunch of new bitches like that. I remember I was running around town once and the bitches just flocked to me. The bitches love Carl err Winston.

I still have to figure out how I am going to get this crazy mug off the roof. I can only imagine what someone driving by might think. Okay I have no choice. I am going out there. Holy shit this window is small. How did he even fit out of it? That’s some serious sleep walking. That’s what it’s called! Sleep walking! He, that made my tail wag. Okay now what? Let me try biting his ankles again and I will never own up to that. Well, I’m a dog so I wouldn’t be able to anyway. I technically shouldn’t be able to write this yet somehow it’s happening. Here we go and I will really put some teeth into it this time. Nothing, really? He didn’t even flinch. Okay let me jump on him maybe I will knock him over and bring him out of it. I’ll get a running start but this roof isn’t very big so I have to be careful. “Geronimo”

Oh he’s stumbling. Success!! He’s opening his eyes. Let me sit on his feet real quick and wag my tail like the good boy I am. He sure does look confused. Oh look at that everyone is going to stick their heads out of the window to try and take credit. There is that creepy looking dog. Why does he look like that? What’s with the constant lip licking? I am going to have to lead that one off down kidnap highway and see if someone picks him up. Knowing my luck Pa will come home with him, forgetting he was ever his dog in the first place. My tail is wagging faster as Pa pets my head. I wonder if he notices I am always the only one around when his crazy ass decides to go running through the woods with his junk hanging out. You think we can get some sleep now? I will follow him back in the house and go to the bedroom. I refuse to sleep in the bed anymore. As much sweat as he put on it the mattress has to look like a hotel mattress. Also don’t ask how I know everything that I do. I am just a well versed dog, you know living with two families and all. Though, if I had to pick I would take this crazy mother fucker any day.  
~Fin


End file.
